By: Carolanne
Introduction:
My name is Carolann, and I lost my beloved partner in December of 2023 to complications from mental illness and alcohol use disorder. This is the story of our journey. I have used my real name, but I am choosing a pseudonym to conceal my partner’s identity at the request of other family. I chose the pseudonym “Acheron” for him, even though it’s weird and possibly less relatable, because my partner identified fiercely to that character from Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Acheron series. Acheron was an immortal who was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused throughout time and whose trust was continually betrayed by those he trusted and who professed love for him. To be honest, Acheron in the book is a miserable portrayal and hard to read, but it helped me understand early on the baggage my partner was carrying and allowed me to more effectively challenge the belief systems that were no longer working for him as an abuse survivor. I hope you, too, can connect with my Acheron, despite the unusual name.
Our Story:
In the world of technology education, Acheron was once a shining star, inspiring and mentoring countless students and colleagues. His passion for teaching went beyond mere instruction; it was a lifelong dedication to nurturing minds and encouraging personal growth. Acheron’s classrooms were not just places of learning but spaces of creativity, empathy, and self-discovery.
As a world-renowned teacher, mentor, and leader in adult education, Acheron’s influence extended far beyond his classrooms. His innovative teaching methods earned him praise, his compassionate mentorship changed lives, and his unwavering commitment to excellence set a high standard. To his students and colleagues, he was more than an educator and peer; he was a guide, a confidant, and a constant source of support.
To his daughter, he was simply “Dad.” He was the one who solved problems and offered encouragement, believing she could accomplish anything. To me, Acheron was my husband and my best friend. I could confide in him about anything, and he always supported me. He was tender and kind, loved to travel, be silly, and have fun. Our life together was an adventure, and our partnership was nearly perfect.
But beneath his successful exterior lay a hidden struggle. Acheron battled alcohol use disorder, autism, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. The signs were subtle at first, but they grew more apparent over time. His once-vibrant life began slipping through his fingers.
The Covid lockdowns triggered Acheron’s descent into mental illness. Cut off from the human connections that sustained him, he felt adrift in loneliness and despair. The constant hypervigilance during Covid increased his anxiety and depression, and his shame of not being able to manage his and his belief that he was defective kept him from sharing it fully with me, his friends, his family.
Acheron’s struggle with alcohol and mental illness marked a significant departure from the person we knew and admired. The passionate lectures and transformative discussions were replaced by addiction and despair. His once-busy mind became consumed by hours of Netflix and self-imposed isolation.
Despite his respected status, Acheron faced indifference and neglect when seeking help. The stigma surrounding alcohol use disorder and mental health conditions added to his struggles, cloaking his illnesses in shame and misunderstanding.
As Acheron’s world fell apart, so did the hopes and dreams of those who admired him. Friends and family watched helplessly as the light in his eyes dimmed. The healthcare system’s failures and institutional apathy drowned out their voices. Privacy concerns and treatment myths further isolated Acheron, leaving him trapped in despair with no lifeline.
Ultimately, it was not alcohol that claimed Acheron’s life, but the denial of care from a system ill-equipped to meet his needs. His passing left a void in the hearts of all who knew him, a stark reminder of the human cost of systemic neglect and indifference.
As his caregiver, I bore the burden of navigating the complex healthcare system, a daunting and heart-wrenching task.
Join us in honoring Acheron’s memory by shedding light on the systemic failures that denied him the care and compassion he needed. We strive to ensure that no one else suffers the same tragic fate.
Stay tuned for future instalments, where we’ll delve deeper into the stigma, treatment myths, and the urgent need for systemic change in addressing alcohol use disorder and mental health conditions.